This Ever Changing Woman: July 2010

I often wonder if music means as much to other people as it does to me. I always listen to music when I drive, cook, walk, sew, or just hanging out by myself or with friends. A song can instantly bring me back to a past event, or set the mood for a special evening. When discovering a new favorite song or artist, I can’t help feeling excited. Getting the chance to see a favourite artist on stage performing an epic song is one of life’s great gifts.

As with most people, my favorite music moves me - it can make me feel a little more alive, almost like a jolt of caffeine, or it can calm me. Music validates my joy, my sadness, my passion, my pain, my spirit. When I find a song that reflects a certain emotion, I feel as if I am being understood, which is often very comforting.

However, even from a very young age, I’ve been drawn to ballads and “sad songs”... Back in the 70’s, when my friends were listening to upbeat disco, I loved listening to “Still”, by the Commodores or anything by Karen Carpenter.

With that in mind, I’ve decided to try to narrow down my top 10 favorite songs of all time. (Quite pointless because by tomorrow, it will have changed, oh well...)

10. Hallelujia - Loved k.d. lang's version at the 2010 Olympics

9. Since You’ve Been Around – Rosie Thomas - discovered this song on a Grey's Anatomy playlist - since then, have fallen in love with Rosie Thomas' simple, folky music

8. Baby - Dave Matthews - I reserve the right to cyclically rotate my favorite Dave Matthews song - there are too many to choose only one...

7. Falling Slowly - Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova - the newest discovery on my list - this song takes my breath away and I secretly love the American Idol duet version even better than the original - who knew?!

6. True Companion - Marc Cohn - this song about being married to your soul mate for life still gives me shivers.

5. Fields of Gold - Eva Cassidy - I must admit, I haven't listened to this song for a while because it would make me cry during this emotional year. Enough said.

4. Answer and/or Hold On and/or Wintersong - Sarah McLachlan - saw Sarah in 1989 open for the Grapes of Wrath in Edmonton and have been hooked since... Angel would be on this list except it is still overplayed.

3. River - Joni Mitchell - Everything about this song is perfect, even during the summer....

2. With my Own Two Hands - Ben Harper and Jack Johnson - Makes me believe that I can make peace on earth, with my own two hands

1. Your Song - Elton John - Timeless, classic, has been my favorite song since the late eighties - yet to be defeated!

Runners up include: Absence of Fear - Jewel, Into the Mystic - Van Morrison, Christmas Song - Dave Matthews, Imagine - Mercy Me, Little Green - Joni, Don't Give Up - Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush and Twilight Moment - Samantha Schultz

Home sweet home. That’s how I feel about arriving home after a wonderful vacation. Except when I travel to Portland, Oregon, because being there also feels like home to me. Departing Portland for Sooke is like leaving home and heading home at the same time. It’s so confusing!

I love Portland - it’s that simple. Fortunately, when I lived there between 1995 and 1998, I spoke of my love for Portland frequently. I’m very aware that I’m guilty of “the-grass-is-always-greener” syndrome, so I frequently verbalized how much I loved it there - that way, I consistanlty planted my passion for Portland in my memory. I’ve always said that if Portland were in Canada, I’d move there in a heartbeat! During our two and a half years there, we definitely soaked up much of what the city had to offer – great day hikes in the city, the coast, the Columbia River Gorge, or Mt. Hood, frequent backpacking trips to the “nearby” Cascade mountains, great restaurants, markets, coffee shops, theatre, shopping, parks and much more.

As I recall the good ol’ Portland days, I vividly remember that wonderful time in my life. I was a young physical therapist, engaged to be married, fit, healthy, and very happy. Despite living in a tiny, post war apartment, sparsely decorated with garage sale furniture, it was probably the happiest time in my life. I spent my free time hiking, working out in a local gym, studying manual therapy, planning our wedding, planning a backpacking trip to Europe, and hanging out in great cafes, restaurants, and theatres. I grew out my bad perm, watched new episodes of “Friends”, and listened to the Counting Crows, Blue Rodeo, Alanis Morrisette, and Sarah McLachlan. Although my partner and I didn’t entertain much, we met some wonderful local friends, who I regret losing contact with.

Portland was rich with cultural diversity. Generally, the people there were friendly, earthy, and laid back with an outdoorsy, “west coast” style that I tried to emulate, and often still do. My shoes in those days were clunky and comfortable, that is, when I wasn’t wearing Tevas or Birkenstocks...

Fast forward 12 years and I am now calling Portland a “great place to visit”. However, this year, I viewed my love for Portland in a different light. I still love the city, as we try to cram two years of good times into four days, but I am left wondering: Is it the city of Portland that I love, or is it the association with that time in my life that I enjoy revisiting? It was such a happy time – when most things were less stressful – when my husband and I had long, uninterrupted conversations late into the night, when we didn’t have to arrange a babysitter to go out to a movie, when we planned where to hike on the weekend based on a pretty picture in a hiking book, when we used our computer for email and Tetris, when my Mom could see, and no-one I knew had cancer. Those were the days when I thought 30 was old, air travel was fun, and I was positive that everyone was going to live happily ever after.

As the years go by, I still love my life, my family, my friends, and my home on Vancouver Island - but there is a lot I miss about those days in Portland. I look forward to going back next year. I wonder how green the grass will be?

(Here are some pictures to prove how beautiful Portland is... )

Near Pacific City on the coast: